Las mujeres son de Venus y los hombres de Marte

26 abril 2008

Hoy abri el correo y veo un mail de mi tio. Cuando veo el titulo del mail me intereso. Se llamaba La venganza de un hombre. Como me cague de risa!!

El cuentito:

Nunca había entendido por qué las necesidades sexuales de los hombres y las mujeres son tan diferentes entre si. Nunca había entendido todas esas pelotudeces de que las mujeres son de Venus y Los hombres de Marte.Y nunca había entendido por qué los hombres piensan con la cabeza y las mujeres con el corazón. Pero...una noche, mi esposa y yo nos fuimos a la cama. Empezamos a acariciarnos, el inevitable agarre de chichis, el trasero, etc.
La cuestión era que ya estaba lista y en ese momento, me dice: -Ahora no tengo ganas, mi amor!. Tan sólo quiero que me abraces!- Eso me lo dice con una cara de cínica ... ¡Yo dije: -¡¡¡¿¿¿QUEEEEEEEE???!!!- Entonces me dijo las palabras mágicas de toda mujer: -No sabes conectarte con mis necesidades emocionales como mujer'-...

¡NO JOOOOOODAS! Al final, el asunto era que esa noche no iba a haber pelea, guardé los aceites afrodisíacos, apagué las velas, quité el CD de Alejandro Sanz (en ese momento casi siempre funciona), apagué el equipo de sonido,guardé el champán y demás...!Puta madre! Me di un duchazo con agua helada a ver si podía calmar a la 'bestia' y me puse a ver 'Discovery', a todo volumen para no dejar dormir a la hija de mi suegra.... Después de un rato me quedé dormido.

Al día siguiente fuimos de compras a Patio Bullrich y entramos a una tienda. Me fui a ver relojes mientras ella se probaba tres modelitos carísimos 'Liverpool'. Como mi mujer al fin no podía decidirse por uno u otro, le dije que se llevara los tres. Entonces me dijo que necesitaba unos zapatos que le hicieran juego de u$s 390.00 el par!. Le contesté que me parecía bien. Luego fuimos a la sección de ropa sport, donde salimos con unas zapatillas Nike y una Bolsa Luis Vuitton o alguna huevada de ésas. ¡Ella estaba tan emocionada! Yo creo que ella pensaba que me había
vuelto loco, pero de todas maneras se veía contenta. Pienso que me estaba poniendo a prueba cuando me pidió una faldita muy corta de esas para jugar tenis...(si apenas sabe correr!). Entró en 'shock' cuando le dije ... Comprate todo lo que quieras!!!. ¡¡¡Ella estaba excitada casi sexualmente después de todo ésto!!! Entonces Dijo la palabra mágica de toda mujer: -Vení papito lindo, mi 'gordo hermoso' (y otras estupideces que dicen las mujeres), vamos a la caja a pagar!!!-. Fue aquí cuando de repente, faltando sólo una persona para pagar le dije: -No mi amor, creo que ahora no tengo ganas de comprar todo esto-... De verdad, ojalá le hubieran visto la cara: Se quedó pálida cuando le dije: -Tan solo quiero que me abraces-.
Empezó a poner cara de que se iba a desmayar, se le paralizó la parte izquierda del cuerpo, le dio un tic nervioso en el ojo derecho y le dije: -No sabes conectarte con mis necesidades financieras como hombre-...

Desde hace dos días que duermo afuera, pero que
bien que me sentí!


LA PUTA QUE VALE LA PENA DE SER HOMBRE

26 comentarios:

Halle dijo...

Lo leí tarde, pensé que me iba a aburrir leyendo tanto...


Pero como me cagué de risa! jajaja, está genial

thitan dijo...

Yo también pense lo mismo muy largo, pero que largo. Pero esta genial. Seguro que esto tiene algo de verídico. Si es así pero que bien para el hombre. Jajaja.

Mas alla de un blog dijo...

En verdad tiene su chiste, cuando vas a la mitad es bueno pero el final es una pasada xD

Anónimo dijo...

Hello, as you may already found I'm fresh here.
Hope to get some assistance from you if I will have some quesitons.
Thanks and good luck everyone! ;)

Anónimo dijo...

[URL=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/details.php?image_id=2716][IMG]http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/data/thumbnails/5/Deepika_Padukone-67.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[URL=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/details.php?image_id=2713][IMG]http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/data/thumbnails/5/Deepika_Padukone-64.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[URL=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/details.php?image_id=2707][IMG]http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/data/thumbnails/5/Deepika_Padukone-59.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Deepika-Padukone-5.htm]Deepika Padukone Wallpapers[/url]

[url=http://digg.com/celebrity/Deepika_Padukone_Wallpapers_Deepika_Padukone_Pictures]Deepika Padukone Wallpapers, Deepika Padukone Pictures[/url]

Photo gallery at WallpaperHungama.in is dedicated to Deepika Padukone Pictures. Click on the thumbnails for enlarged Deepika Padukone pictures, personal photographs and exclusive photos. Also check out other Pictures Gallery for High quality and High Resolution image scans, movie captures, movie promos, wallpapers, hollywood & bollywood pictures, photos of actresses and celebrities

Manraj Kutta Hai

Anónimo dijo...

The French gourmet cheese Bleu d'Auvergne has a wonderful aroma, a rich taste; the saltiness increases with the incidence of veining. The overall flavor is piquant but not overly sharp. Bleu d'Auvergne started life as an imitation of Roquefort, using cow's milk in place of sheep's milk. Legend has it that a peasant, around 1845, decided to inject his cheese with a blue mold that he found growing on his left-over bread (the motto being, waste not, want not). And thus, the gourmet cheese Bleu d'Auvergne was born. This French gourmet blue cheese comes from the region of Auvergne and the cheese is made from milk of Salers and Aubrac cows. The rind is very thin and so the cheese is usually wrapped in foil. The cheese is rich and creamy with a pale yellow color and scattered holes and well-defined greenish-blue veining. We cut and wrap this cheese in wedge of 8 ounces and 1 pound.

buy fresh blue cheese

[url=http://riderx.info/members/buy_5F00_fresh_5F00_blue_5F00_cheese.aspx]buy fresh blue cheese[/url]

http://riderx.info/members/buy_5F00_fresh_5F00_blue_5F00_cheese.aspx

Anónimo dijo...

Hello,

I am Sabrina Rojas, Affiliate Executive of usainstantpayday.com, world’s largest bad credit loans community. I came across to your site and I must say that you have got an amazing site that has attracted a lot of visitors including me. I would be glad if you join our affiliate program because your site has full potential to send traffic to my website.
The highlights of our program are:
1. Absolutely FREE registration.
2. You put up a banner or text link or lead sign up form on your site/blog/forum and send traffic from your site/blog/forum to our website. You can also promote via means of email marketing, PPC, telemarketing, etc
3. We will pay you $25 for each lead. (Affiliates are earning up to $1500 per week with our program)
Please note that we try to contact the leads 7 times before marking it a dead lead.
So what are you waiting for? Join Bad Credit Loans Program and earn dollars!! http://www.usainstantpayday.com
For more questions please visit [url=http://www.usainstantpayday.com]http://www.usainstantpayday.com[/url]
This Program will definitely help both of us mutually. You send your potential visitors to our site and we pay you for this.
Please note that for doing email marketing you need to approve the email from us as we do not want any kind of spam activities to take place.
Looking forward for a long term business relation
Thanks,

Sabrina Rojas
sabrina@usainstantpayday.com
Affiliate Executive
http://www.usainstantpayday.com

Anónimo dijo...

megan fox naked pic, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187756]megan fox nipples free[/url] briana banks megan fox
kim kardashian in a bikini, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187768]kim kardashian azz[/url] kim kardashian sex full video
taylor swift award live, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187772]talor swift look alikes[/url] taylor swift music video
hannah montana video, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187786]hannah montana talking tee shirt, medium7/8[/url] hannah montana books online
harry potter names of love potions, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187792]harry potter game download[/url] harry potter amusement park
cruise holidays to see the aurora borealis, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187798]cruise singapore to athens[/url] cruises to baja from san francisco
justin bieber is gay, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187812]justin bieber lyrics[/url] justin bieber lafayette, la
britney spears ditches her pants, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187814]britney spears 3 mp3 download[/url] britney spears knickers
megan fox panties, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/175542]megan fox cute[/url] megan fox armani underwear

Anónimo dijo...

hello everybody

I figured it would be a good idea to introduce myself to everyone!

Can't wait to start some good conversations!

-Marshall

Thanks again!

Anónimo dijo...

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/]Bollywood Wallpapers[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/]Bollywood Actress[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Aishwarya-Rai-114.htm]Aishwarya Rai[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Ayesha-Takia-28.htm]Ayesha Takia[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Diya-Mirza-116.htm]Diya Mirza[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Neha-Dhupia-8.htm]Neha Dhupia[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Nandana-Sen-109.htm]Nandana Sen[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Bipasha-Basu-29.htm]Bipasha Basu[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Neetu-Chandra-34.htm]Neetu Chandra[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Kim-Sharma-119.htm]Kim Sharma[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Zarine-Khan-123.htm]Zarine Khan[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Amrita-Rao-2.htm]Amrita Rao[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Aarti-Chhabria-122.htm]Aarti Chhabria[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Asin-32.htm]Asin[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Celina-Jaitley-1.htm]Celina Jaitley[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Deepika-Padukone-5.htm]Deepika Padukone[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Geeta-Basra-24.htm]Geeta Basra[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Kareena-Kapoor-115.htm]Kareena Kapoor[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Katrina-Kaif-11.htm]Katrina Kaif[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Sonal-Chauhan-21.htm]Sonal Chauhan[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Priyanka-Chopra-3.htm]Priyanka Chopra[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Aditi-Sharma-126.htm]Aditi Sharma[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Hazel-Crowney-135.htm]Hazel Crowney[/url]

[url=http://www.wallpaperhungama.in/cat-Kashmira-Shah-110.htm]Kashmira Shah[/url]

Anónimo dijo...

Greetings

I just wanted to say hi to everyone

Bye!

[URL=http://www.vpnmaster.com][IMG]http://openvpn.net/archive/openvpn-users/2005-05/pngd55nFojmJX.png[/IMG][/URL]

Anónimo dijo...

Do you think the best way to get the cheapest plane tickets is by calling the airline? Or, do you scan through hundreds of websites provided by search engines to find low airfare tickets? Maybe you hope to find cheap airfare in the local newspaper's travel section.
Finding cheap airline tickets can be one of the most frustrating experiences that most of us learn very quickly. Of course, most people eventually give up after spending hours scanning websites that offer virtually the same flight schedules and pricing. People purchase what they believe is the cheapest plane ticket, only to find their neighbor paid just a third of what they did!

Unless you understand the concept of of how airlines set prices, all the searching in the world won't provide the cheapest airline ticket prices. The following information will give you a guide to follow, as you wander through the maze searching for cheap airfare.

Understand how prices are set by airlines! Air ticket pricing is complex and unpredictable, and driven by competition, demand, and inventory. Airlines call this "yield management."

Competition is the beast behind the cheapest plane tickets. All major airlines utilize central reservation systems (owned by various airlines) to fill available seats. The systems are known as Apollo, Sabre, WorldSpan and Galileo. Prices are based on demand, and if some flights are selling well, the price will increase. If the flight is unpopular and has very little demand, the fare is lowered in hope of attracting consumers. In short, fares and inventory change every minute of every day!

Finding the cheapest plane tickets is difficult because travel agents and Internet websites use the central reservation systems that are updated periodically throughout the day. The reason why different searches come up with different results is because the systems are not updated at the same times. And, each system may use different algorithms when searching for low airfare tickets, which can provide a variety of ticket prices .

[url=http://cheapairtickets.qarri.com/]Guide for cheap air tickets[/url]

Anónimo dijo...

check out the new free [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com]online casino games[/url] at the all new www.casinolasvegass.com, the most trusted [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com]online casinos[/url] on the web! enjoy our [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com/download.html]free casino software download[/url] and win money.
you can also check other [url=http://sites.google.com/site/onlinecasinogames2010/]online casinos[/url] and [url=http://www.bayareacorkboard.com/]poker room[/url] at this [url=http://www.buy-cheap-computers.info/]casino[/url] sites with 100's of [url=http://www.place-a-bet.net/]free casino games[/url]. for new gamblers you can visit this [url=http://www.2010-world-cup.info]online casino[/url].

Anónimo dijo...

if you guys exigency to pique [url=http://www.generic4you.com]viagra[/url] online you can do it at www.generic4you.com, the most trusted viagra pharmaceutics repayment in coming generic drugs.
you can ascertain drugs like [url=http://www.generic4you.com/Sildenafil_Citrate_Viagra-p2.html]viagra[/url], [url=http://www.generic4you.com/Tadalafil-p1.html]cialis[/url], [url=http://www.generic4you.com/VardenafilLevitra-p3.html]levitra[/url] and more at www.rxpillsmd.net, the original [url=http://www.rxpillsmd.net]viagra[/url] originator on the web. well another great [url=http://www.i-buy-viagra.com]viagra[/url] pharmacy you can find at www.i-buy-viagra.com

Anónimo dijo...

Shahid Kapoor and Priyanka Chorpa first time worked together in Vishal Bhardwaj’s Kaminey movie. In the film ‘Kamine’ Shahid Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra shotted a lip lock related scene. For this scene firstly Priyanka have refused but lately she agreed on director Bharddhaj’s saying.
This scene completed after taking 5 retake shots. Now you see on the screen that how looks like their chemistry. Check put below given Shahid Kapoor Priyanka Chopra lip locked exclusive video clip.

[url=http://www.bollywood-latest.com/2010/04/shahid-kapoor-priyanka-chopra-sexy-lip-lock-kissing-video/]Shahid Kapoor Priyanka Chopra Sexy Lip Lock Kissing video[/url]

[url=http://www.bollywood-latest.com/]Bollywood Blog[/url]

[url=http://www.bollywood-latest.com/]Bollywood News[/url]

Anónimo dijo...

[url=http://www.watchtruebloodseason3.net][img]http://www.watchtruebloodseries.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/truebloodclaude.jpg[/img][/url]

Hello Vampires

As you all are big fans of True Blood, i came across this great where you already can watch the first episode of season 3 .
Here is the link where you can watch this great serie, its totally free and you can stream any episode from every season.

Let me know what you think about it!

[url=http://www.watchtruebloodseason3.net]Watch True Blood Online [/url]

[url=http://www.watchtruebloodseason3.net][img]http://img3.sidereel.com/_episodeimage/size.1/5e00.2.16.jpg[/img][/url]

Anónimo dijo...

[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/depresja-objawy]depresja objawy[/url]
http://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocyceptor
[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/]choroby psychiczne[/url]
[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/depresja-poporodowa]depresja poporodowa[/url]
[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/leczenie-choroby-afektywnej-depresji-dwubiegunowej-depresji-maniakalnej]leczenie depresji dwubiegunowej[/url]
[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/alkoholizm]alkoholizm[/url]
[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/narkolepsja]narkolepsja[/url]
[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/halucynacje]halucynacje[/url]
[url=http://choroby-psychiczne.eu/histeria]histeria[/url]
[url=http://pobierz-to.com/]pobierz filmy[/url]
[url=http://pobierz-to.com/shrek-forever-after-2010-cam-t601.html]shrek forever after download[/url]
[url=http://pobierz-to.com/the-stranger-2010-dvdrip-t573.html]the stranger 2010[/url]
[url=http://pobierz-to.com/stargate-universe-s01e18-t555.html]stargate universe s01e18[/url]
[url=http://pobierz-to.com/the-wolfman-unrated-dvdrip-x264-t477.html]the wolfman download[/url]

Anónimo dijo...

If you are a novice gambler you probably haven’t heard the term but professional bettors who earn their livelihood from sports betting use the method all the time taking advantage of the variance in odds from the opinions of the diverse number of bookmakers. Even though it sounds as if it is a no risk situation that may not always be the case and there some issues that can cause you to lose.

One key thing to remember when you are seeking out the best sports betting odds is that the best odds and the best sports bookmaker are not necessarily one and the same.
[url=http://www.pulsebet.com]sport bet[/url]
On the other hand if you were to lose then you would wager twice what your original bet was. According to proponents of the system, this strategy will eventually enable you to win the bets you place and when you win you would recover all your lost bets plus one unit profit against your initial wager.

The important thing to note here is that neither of the above approaches is "systemised", although those in the first group believe that they are limiting losses while increasing their winning chances. But what the majority in that first group generally do not take proper account of is how the Bookies have fixed the odds to ensure that they, the Bookies, will come out on top in the long run. What this means is that if you only bet on "favourites" you will eventually lose all your money, although it is true that you will enjoy a much longer period of betting before you kiss your last buck goodbye!

Anónimo dijo...

Luck plays a major role in your winnings through a game of online bingo. Nevertheless, there are certain winning strategies in play at a game of online bingo. Hence, the result of your game depends on these strategies to quite an extent. Employ such winning strategies to enjoy and win good prize amounts at a game of online bingo.
[url=http://www.bingokisses.com]bingo online[/url] play bingo Online bingo is a game of chance. However, you can develop specific bingo systems to turn the game odds in your favor. The simplicity of the game offers extensive scope for you to employ winning bingo systems. Normally, every bingo player tries to match the called numbers on the screen with those in his bingo card in little time. This helps you call out 'bingo' earlier to ensure your win at the game.
[url=http://www.bingokisses.com]bingo on line[/url]
Bingo is a fantastic game and is fast becoming one of the most popular forms of entertainment on the internet, our advice is to have fun and be safe, we wish you all the luck in the world with your bingo playing, thanks for reading.
bingo online
Bingo is usually played in special halls where many players can play at the same time. The actual fun is the tension building up seeing other players closer and closer to the finish line. However, with the advent of the Internet, BINGO has gone online as well. There are many ways to play on the net, though the basics remain the same. You will have to complete a given pattern before anyone else in order to win. Over the net, you need not shout the computer will flash it out for you. Some online games also have chat attached to the games where you can speak with other players online and have fun right from your home, office or any other place where you can get on the net. Chatting is a great way to meet new people and pick up the tips and tricks.

Anónimo dijo...

[b]King Of Pirate Online[/b]

King Of Pirate is a fully 3D-designed multiplayer online game based on 5,000 years of pirate history.

In it, comical pirate characters and creatures travel the high seas and encounter intricate story-based quests,

wondrous cities and beautiful landscapes in their search for treasures fit for a king – or a king's ransom!

Though the excitement of ship-to-ship combat is a heady brew for newcomers and veterans alike,

many players take pride in their place among the community. Whether you seek to enforce the laws of the KoP world,

http://www.KingOfPirate.com





Tales of pirates private server
pirate king online private server
top/pko private server
private server
igg top
igg

Anónimo dijo...

So I did it -- bought myself a [url=http://www.ordio.com.au/products/Fatman-iTube-ValveDock-with-Speakers.html]Fatman iTube Valvedock[/url] and I've gotta tell ya I am pleasantly surprised. I actually listened to one at a friend's house several months ago and just couldn't get that sound out of my head because it blew me away. I searched online everywhere for a great deal and finally found it at [url=http://www.ordio.com.au]Ordio[/url] in Westfield Bondi Junction. I called them up first and asked every question I could think of and everything was answered to my satisfaction so I went ahead and made the purchase. Shipping was surprisingly fast. Everything was as it should be. I'm pretty darn happy and I'm playing it right now. Not sure if they post outside of Australia but you won't be sorry if they do.

Music to my ears...

Michael

Anónimo dijo...

yjym pldbm miasporn itknjv v dz r cbl

Anónimo dijo...

Ykv e fmq i xxx tube, free xxx. Mxu b, uja hcjyqj|uio vhkwxtk x jr lk.

Anónimo dijo...

Why? Because they do not have a direct emotional attachment to our situation Or you can?2 In plain English that is the exact equivalent of faith
? Determine clear performance outcomes for the effort up front The same applies to the teaching ministry as well The limitation clarifies and directions all your actions

Anónimo dijo...

http://www.site.com - [url=http://www.site.com]site[/url] site
site

Anónimo dijo...


[url=http://ph-pills.com/item/generic_propecia.html]cheap propecia[/url]